Mushrooms and Roses
by risokura
Summary: One more step to take before graduation. Does it matter where we go from there? GenderBend Axel&Roxas. Say You'll Go & Time To Pretend Continuation.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**A/N:** Probably the last in the gender bent Axel/Roxas series.

-x-

_Mushrooms and Roses_

-x-

I dropped my pen as soon as the door to Axel's room slammed against the wall and sighed at the interruption. Two seconds later, the door was being pushed back against the wall and locking. Axel came into view, a green towel draped over her head and her skin was still wet from her shower. She pulled the towel off her head, flinging her unruly hair every which way in the process and then turned her eyes on me.

"And just what are you doing, Thumbelina?"

"Trying to write my valedictorian speech …." I replied, "But, it's not going very well, though."

"What's wrong?" She asked, grabbing her falling towel and pulled it back over her chest.

"I don't know." I replied, closing the notebook in my lap. I tucked the pen into the place where I had left off at. I'd finish this another time, "Before you start asking me a million questions, why don't you go put some clothes on first?"

"Right, right." She dropped her towel right in front of me. I averted my eyes and she laughed gently at my discomfort, "Nothing you haven't seen before."

"A little modesty goes a long way." I replied, leaning forward and crawling along the bed to reach for my bag. I shoved the notebook inside.

"Not when it's you," She commented, shimmying her way into a pair of boxers—(she had a thing for male underwear)—and then turning to look at me with her wild green eyes, "So then...?"

"I try to write and I'm just never satisfied with any of it." I sighed, as she was pulling a wife beater over her head, "It's like …I have all this stuff to say, but I can't ever put it down on paper. Or when I do, it never comes out right. I don't know what to do anymore. Graduation is half a week away and I've barely gotten anything usable for this speech."

She leaned over to fiddle with the light switch by her door that controlled the overhead light. She then walked over to her desk so she could turn on the small lamp, "Well … try not to think about it so much. It'll come, you know?"

I shrugged, "Maybe."

"So, then." She said, determined to get my mind off of the problem at hand, "You never did fully explain to me why you wanted to come over tonight. Not that I'm complaining or anything … but I know there's a story that I'm just dying to hear about…"

I paled at the thought of my roommate and the awkward conditions that had landed me in Axel's room in the first place. I fiddled with the edges of her duvet and shook my head, "…It was bad."

"They really didn't see you in there, huh?"

"I was taking a nap!" I protested as Axel began to comb her mangled hair, "I was really tired after my last final. Sora said she'd be getting celebratory smoothies or something of that sort with Riku. I figured it'd be okay. I'd have the whole room to myself without any interruptions from the two of them. ...But, then I woke up about an hour later to, 'Oh, Riku,' and then the god damn bed starts hitting the wall and … "

"Hitting the wall?" Axel asked curiously, her eyes drawing toward the ceiling as she began processing this, "…Why the hell was the bed hitting … the wall? Just what the fuck was Riku doing to Sora?"

"…" I avoided Axel's glance for a moment.

"Roxas?"

"I overheard Sora on the phone a couple of nights ago …" I mumbled, "They were talking about a … way to celebrate the end of finals and graduation, so, um … they were talking about … using …" I left my sentence unfinished and bit my lip. There was no way in hell Axel was getting me to admit the full truth. I'd just infer it at this point.

Axel blinked twice and then proceeded to burst out laughing. She cradled her face with her right hand and then doubled over in her chair, "Oh my god, oh my god … _seriously_ …"

"It's not funny."

"They were using a **strap on**?" Axel asked me, looking up to meet my eyes. The corners of her eyes were moist from laughing so hard and she looked like she was about to lapse into another fit, "...Please …please … tell me I'm right?"

"What the hell do you think?" I asked.

"Unless Riku's hands or mouth can magically turn into a penis, there's no other feasible explanation. Well ... unless they were grinding against each other. I guess that might count for something ..." She threw her head back and started to inhale slowly, "But, I highly doubt it with those two. Oh …oh my _God_. …Man … you witnessed the two of them … that's great. That's really great." She grinned at me, massaging her sides gently, "So … what did you do?"

"What do you think I did?" I asked her.

"…You stayed and listened to the whole thing?" Axel asked, her grin widening. "Roxas, you little **pervert**."

"Like I had a choice!" I protested, "What the hell was I supposed to do? Get up in the middle of them trying to put dents in the wall and announce my presence? No … I … just laid there through the whole thing and tried to go back to sleep."

"And then that's when you called me?"

"I left as soon as they stopped and I could sneak out of my bed." I replied, "Why else do I always come over here?"

Axel smirked, rising out of her chair and walking past me to the other side of the room, "I'll let you answer that one for yourself."

Ever since that night, my relationship with Axel has slowly progressed in another direction. We're not really … together, but, ever since that night, we've been … trying to see if we really are something different than what we perceive each other to be. We've …made out a couple of times. But, we haven't done anything sexual since then.

It's more or less because I'm not willing to…or ready to for that matter. It's not that I don't think about it, I just can't push myself to do it without feeling panicked in some type of way. I'm trying, though. Axel doesn't really push it. Well, sometimes Axel will try to take things to the next level and I'll have to push her back down. I'm still trying to learn my limits, or she's trying to learn mine for one.

Either way, I've come to appreciate how far we've come despite all of this.

Axel pulled her hair into a messy bun on top of her head and yawned deftly, "Sleepy?" She asked me, scratching at her side.

I shrugged, "Not particularly, but I probably will be in awhile."

"Good." Axel returned to her desk to turn out her lamp so that the room was soon submerged in darkness. She stumbled through the mess on her floor before mounting her bed and settling in next to me. She sighed languidly and then looked up at me in the darkness, "So glad it's getting warmer. Don't have to sleep with a million and one clothes on anymore, huh?"

"Not like you do that anyway," I readjusted myself in the sheets and sank in beside her.

"I do …" She began, "I just end up taking them off somewhere during the night because I get too hot. So, there."

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes at her and turned over on my side. Axel soon followed suit and spooned herself up against me.

"You're uncharacteristically warm tonight." She commented, "Usually I've gotta warm you up before we go to sleep at night."

"The temperature in your room isn't subzero like it usually is at night." I replied, "It's actually pretty comfortable in here, tonight."

"Huh, so it is." She shrugged dismissively, threw a lazy arm around my hips and yawned loudly, "Whatever, let's just go to sleep."

-x-

It took Axel a half an hour before she was rolling over onto her back and opening her eyes to stare at the ceiling, "Roxas, I can't sleep."

"Good, because I can't either."

"What should we do?"

"Why don't you talk me to death like you usually do?"

"I …" She began frowning slightly and then shrugged her shoulders, "Oddly enough, I've got nothing tonight."

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised a scrutinizing eyebrow, "…You're lying."

Axel huffed, "I could talk about how I totally didn't know shit on my final. Or how the class idiot wasted ten minutes of our time by having the professor go over the most asinine of stuff before we started our final. Whatever, gave me more time to plan how I'd bullshit my way through to at least a C."

"That's a big surprise." I deadpanned, yawning loudly.

"I'm a upper senior, Roxas. The only thing on my mind at this point is getting out of here so I can go get myself a shitty ass job and bemoan the lack of responsibility I had during my college years."

"Don't you do that now?"

"Yeah, I guess." She shrugged her shoulders and laughed lightly, "I mean ... I shirk whatever responsibilities I have now, don't I? And working in the library isn't exactly my ideal work place, huh?"

"I'm glad you realize this." I replied, stifling another yawn, "It seems surreal thinking about things now, though."

"Hm?"

"It's pretty much over. All of this will be coming to an end very soon." I stated, turning to glance at Axel. "I meant what I said before, you know? I'm going back to pack up all my stuff and I'm not looking back. I'm coming back here ... to Traverse Town that is... I like it here."

"I know." She replied, smiling, "Maybe I'll do the same, hm? We can get a nice little place in the Second Distract by the clock tower. We'll rough it like the starving artists we are!"

"...I'm an English major and you're a psychology major, Axel." I reminded her, feeling my upper lip quirk slightly, "Since when the hell are we starving artists?"

"Art minor, remember?"

"And not very good at it, remember?"

She scratched her cheek, fending embarrassment for a minute and then waved her hand nonchalantly, "Eh, whatever. Five bucks says I can throw some paint on a slashed up canvas and everyone will marvel at my sheer genius. And I can sell them ...for thousands and thousands of dollars and then I can be your sugar momma and you-"

"...Please. Stop. Firstly, that's an insult to all artists everywhere. Secondly, the minute sugar baby so much as slips past your lips, I will punch you right in your spleen." I cut her off, jarring her slightly with a sharp poke against her shoulder. "Now, then. Money ... is not the problem if you wish to join in on my plan... remember?"

She blinked for a minute and then I saw the realization spread all over her face, "Your fund from your father."

"It becomes valid as soon as a graduate." I reminded her, "...No more living with that mother of mine."

"Hm." Was all Axel had to say. I knew she didn't want to touch on that sore topic, "Can we get a dog?"

"...No, but I'll agree to a cat."

"I hate cats."

"I hate dogs."

"I'll never understand you, Roxas. Dogs are like ... the greatest animals in the world. How can you NOT like them? They get excited just to see you come in the door. And they jump all over you like an excited little kid that wants to show you something. They're lovable no matter how big they get or how dumb they are ... or whatever stupid name you decide to give them."

"That's exactly the problem. They're essentially little children who you have to look after all the time." I replied, "Cats are simple. You feed them. They leave you alone. Easy clean up, no need for mindless hours of stimulation."

"Cats have taken over the internet as a giant fucking meme." Axel huffed, "Dogs still have their dignity as least."

"This conversation is stupid."

"You're mad cause I'm right."

"No, you're ..." I turned to look at her and she was grinning wildly. I rolled my eyes as I turned back to look at the ceiling, "...Never mind. You won't listen either way." I sighed, stretching my arms over my head, "What time is it?"

"Almost one." She replied, glancing at her alarm clock. She turned back to me, "Why? Getting sleepy?"

I shook my head, "Not when you seem to intent on keeping me up."

"You know you love the attention." She replied.

I shrugged my shoulders and sighed languidly. I closed my eyes for a minute, focusing in on the sounds of the night. I could hear Fang's loud snoring in the room next to Axel's through the wall. Outside Axel's window were the shouts of some group of late night stragglers. Probably on their way to a frat party or something else that would probably end in infinite amounts of disaster. Then there was Axel's low, even breathing next to me. I opened my eyes to see Axel staring up at the ceiling, seemingly preoccupied with her thoughts. I turned on my side so that I could look up at her.

"Axel?"

"Hm?" She asked, looking down at me, "What's wrong, Roxy?"

Keep a calm head, establish a stable mind. Surreal as it was that all of this was coming to an end, it only did more to add to the minor trepidation that had been building over the last couple of months. I wasn't the nervous wreck I had been at the beginning of the semester when all this stuff with Axel reached its apex. It was more or less ... I was trying to fit the pieces where they needed to be right now.

"...I don't ..." I bit my lip, "...I don't really know."

"Well, just talk. You know I'll listen."

I shrugged my shoulders, "You know what we were talking about earlier? I know the basis for what I want … but it's not really a definitive plan for my future, is it? And that's not really like me at all."

"Nothing wrong with that." Axel replied, looking away from me and turning her gaze toward the ceiling, "Honestly, Rox, this whole trying to figure out what you want when you're young shit is bullshit. All I can tell you is live your life how you see fit. You're not going to be able to fulfill every opportunity that comes your way. No sense in stressing the past. Can't change it. Why live in it, you know?"

"I know all about that, we've talked about this before." I shrugged my shoulders, rolling over onto my stomach and propping my chin up on the backs of my hands, "Just wondering … where I'll be in five years?"

"Where do you want to be?"

"I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders, "I haven't even applied for grad school."

"Sounds like you don't really know what you want then, hm?"

"…Not for everything." I replied, turning to look at her, "…What you said earlier sounded nice. I don't imagine I'd appreciate living alone too much. No matter how solitary you may perceive me to be. The extra company would … be nice."

"So you're conceding to this idea?" She asked, a grin unfurling on her face.

"In a sense … yes." I replied, "We'll work out the issue of getting a cat or dog later."

"Dog." She stated, "And we'll name him Tacos."

"…_Why_?"

"My mom already has three dogs named Sushi, Soy Sauce and Spring Roll. I figure we keep the spirit alive and name our dog something related to food also—"

"_Our _dog?" I asked.

"Well, he'd be yours too, wouldn't he?"

I smiled softly at the thought, "I suppose so."

"So … no cats, then?"

"…I'll consider it."

Axel laughed and reached over to ruffle my hair affectionately. I didn't even bother to swat her hand away. She turned over on her side and I could see a lazy smile spreading over her face again.

"It's nice when you're like this, you know?"

"Hm?" I asked, turning to pick my head up to look at her.

"When you're not as guarded as you try to be." She put a finger to my lips before I could start, "I know, I know. You're _trying _to be. Either way, it's still good."

I closed my eyes and pushed my face further into the pillow. Axel was still running her hand through my hair, pushing stray pieces behind my ears every now and then. She was humming something, light and airy. Its nights such as this that I don't want to end. I turned to Axel and her hand slid from out of my hair and settled into the groove of my hips. She fiddled with the edge of my long t-shirt, as her lazy smile retracted a bit.

"Sleepy?"

"No." I replied, feeling my eyes fall to a slow close, "Just … content."

We lay there for a minute, Axel slowly winding her fingers within the edge of my shirt and me going about listening to the sounds of the night again. It didn't take long before I felt Axel's lips pressing against mine and she was slowly rolling me over onto my back. One of her legs found the space between my thighs and the other settled close to the wall. I impulsively linked my arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer to me. It didn't seem like she wanted to rush things from the way she was going about things. And neither did I for that matter.

"Hey …" Axel whispered into my ear when we parted.

"…Yes?"

She pulled away to look me in the eyes. For some reason, she seemed timid. "…Do you want to …?" Axel swallowed, nodding her head off, "You know?"

"…You mean like last time?" I asked her, feeling my stomach turn slightly in nervousness and my cheeks were heating up. I could feel the awkwardness seeping in.

"…Kind of." She replied, "It's been awhile since the last time … I was wondering if you ever wanted …"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. This was getting too awkward. What the hell happened to her confidence from last time? Maybe it's because the circumstances were different. Last time had been a point to prove something to me … this was … different.

"…I… "

"If you don't want to, I won't." She scratched the back of her head. A nervous habit. "I was just thinking … the mood seemed … right and you know …"

"Stop." I said, finally opening my eyes to look at her, "It's … okay. I've had a bit of time to process some things since the last time … and while I admit I'm not entirely one hundred percent comfortable with the idea … I surmise the only way to overcome this is to … get more practice in it."

She took that as her invitation to almost tackle me to the bed and attack my neck. It wasn't long before she was steadily moving down to my stomach, pushing my t-shirt up, disappeared underneath the covers and … oh my God, _was she removing my panties with her __**teeth**__? _One of Axel's hands stay splayed over my stomach, her other arm winding around one of my thighs and hoisting me up slightly. I tried to sit up a bit to see what she was doing, but her hand was moving to press me back down to the bed.

"Relax." I heard her murmur against my inner thigh.

I felt something wet poke me two seconds later and jerked rather harshly away from her touch, "…Th … This is what …y… you had in mind?" I managed to stammer out, trying to pull my shirt back down over my stomach and shrink into myself.

Axel stopped, throwing the sheets back from over her head so she could look back at me, "…I already did it the other way." She replied, "Figured we could try something new… something a little more … intimate."

I fell back onto the bed, sighing in minor trepidation and closed my eyes.

"Is this not okay? I can stop if—"

"No… no, no …" I shook my head, screwing my eyes shut again to try and quell my building anxiety. I rested one of my arms over my stomach near where her hand was resting. Not now. Please, not now. "It's … okay."

"You sure?" Axel asked, "…You're starting to tense up."

I felt her run a calming hand over my stomach as if wordlessly telling me to relax. She wasn't going to rush me into this, she'd take it slow. I could fell those sharp green eyes on me momentarily before I heard her moving again. The room was entirely too quiet for my liking. What in the world was I supposed to do? Just lie back and let her do all the work? This was weird.

…This wasn't like the last time. I wasn't being asked to confront some type of feeling that I had been trying to stuff down into the nether regions of my mind. This was something … that was happening … just because. Purely mutual consent on my part and Axel's, too.

"…Axel?"

I felt her nose brush against my inner thigh, "Mmm?"

I opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling, "…Is … Is there anything …I'm supposed to do?"

She shook her head, pressing kisses against my skin. Her hand snuck underneath my own, wrapped around it and gave it a comforting squeeze. I clenched it weakly in my hand in response, "I already told you before to relax. Just lie back and let me do all the work, okay?"

"…O…_kay_."

She had my voice breaking before she even touched me.

-x-

I thought I was going to die.

No, screw that. I _was _dying. It had to be a sin for something to feel this … this … this _intense_. Then again, how many times had I been told it was a sin for me to feel this way? Anyway.

Axel was still buried between my thighs, arms securely hugging them in to keep me from squirming away from her. Her long, spindly fingers were splayed over my stomach, drawing nonsensical shapes along my skin. She didn't stop, she _wouldn't _stop. I may have pulled and tugged, but she moved with me. Fastened to that one single spot and she hadn't let up yet. Halfway through the whole thing, I had pulled one of Axel's pillows from beneath my head to cover my face.

I had to. It was too embarrassing.

She pushed at a particular spot and I bit into her pillow to silence myself. Then she was pulling again … no, she was pressing now, rubbing… nibbling … pressing up, down, around ...

…Was … was she spelling the …_alphabet_?

I groaned helplessly into her pillow and tightened my grip on it.

"…You know, it'd be nice if I could hear you." She murmured as I tried to catch my breath. A tongue slid along the side of my already too warm thigh, "Let's me know if I'm doing this right, you know?" Axel chuckled briefly as she tugged me closer to her, "Though, I can only surmise that I am with the way you're clutching that pillow right now."

I pulled the pillow away from my face so I could respond, but Axel was right back to it again and caught me right in the middle of an incredibly loud moan.

"There we go." She stated. I could hear the smugness in voice.

I wasn't going to last much longer, I already knew that. I was gripping at the sheets, pillow … anything I could grab in my hands and nearly tear apart. _I _was falling apart. Was I even breathing? Was my heart still beating? I couldn't feel anything anymore. …Just … just some kind of tender bliss. I felt Axel stop, easing my shaking legs down to the bed. She gave me a minute to compose myself, merely running a comforting hand on my abdomen. But, she didn't say anything just yet.

"Can you sit up?"

"Yeah… I think so. Why?"

Her answer was shifting the whole world completely, until I was sitting upright and …Axel was underneath me. It took me a minute to realize just what type of position I was in as I came to brace my arms in the space between Axel's legs. Her arms were hooking around my thighs again and realization dawned on me immediately. Oh my God, she _wasn't_…

"Axel? Axel. _Axel_. Stop. _Stop_. You … you're going to _kill _me."

She didn't respond, just pressed into me again and did as she pleased. I pushed back at her, desperate for her to somewhat stop or to keep going. I didn't really know at that moment. If I had thought earlier was intense, then this was off the chart. More than the first time we'd done something like this and whatever new stuff she'd tried out on me tonight. This … this was more than I could handle and I was crumbling by the minute.

"Oh my _God_." I gasped out, fisting the sheets between her legs and tried to ease my shaking legs.

…Oh no. She wasn't going to get the one up on me again. Not this, not again. I pushed back, trying to find the energy to focus even though it was so hard to do so. My hands latched onto the waistband of her boxers and with trembling fingers I pushed my way inside. She paused, pulling away out of shock. I heard the beginnings of her name slip past her name, but effectively silenced her in a minute.

It was my turn now.

-x-

"So." I muttered, a bit of triumph to my voice.

"…Still didn't beat the record you set last time." Axel murmured, still looking dazed.

"Oh, but I think I did." I grinned devilishly at Axel, "How many times was it?"

"…Don't say it."

"It was more than—"

A hand immediately latched over my mouth. Axel looked to me, "I said don't say it."

Oh, how the tables had turned. She pulled her hand away from my mouth after a moment and sighed languidly. "…Never thought you'd turn the tables on me like that."

"Like you were going to take advantage of me all night." I replied, looking at her with a sense of incredulity

"Never said I was. Just said I _wasn't _expecting that." Axel replied, "Where in the _world _did you learn that from?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"…I actually would." Axel replied.

I shrugged my shoulders, pulling the covers up over myself and curled up into Axel's side, "Maybe later. Too tired now."

"…Weren't you the one saying you weren't _that _tired?" She asked, looking down at where I was pressing my forehead against the top of her shoulder.

I looked up at her, "…Well. You tired me out … but I can see I _also _won that battle, tonight." I yawned, "…In the morning …"

"Hm?" Axel questioned, her eyes drooping slightly.

"In the morning, I think I can work on that speech." I replied, "…I guess I just had a block."

"In more ways than one."

"Shut up." I would have kicked her, had I the energy, "I guess I was just thinking about it too much. Analyzing it down to the bare minimum like I always do." I stifled another yawn with the back of my hand, "What do you think?"

"…That we should talk about this in the morning." Axel answered mirthfully, "I mean … it's good you're somewhat inspired … but I'm about to pass out at any minute." She rolled over onto her side and pressed a sloppy kiss to my temple, "Night, Rox."

I huffed a little out of irritation, but could understand where she was coming from. This _could _wait for the morning when both of us weren't so thoroughly spent, "Goodnight."

It didn't take long before Axel was out. Her breathing slowed and eventually evened out to a rhythmic pace. I inhaled deeply as I began to process what had happened between us tonight. Maybe this was supposed to be how we ended our chapter here. Starting as friends, slowly moving toward something more. It had been a long ride and it was all going to end this month. I can't say it wasn't completely stress free at times, but I'm glad that this is where I finally ended up. The final scene was nearing to it's end. A new act was about to begin.

I looked up at Axel and felt a tugging in my chest. To think that this gangly delinquent would turn into the person that she was today was anyone's guess. Me too, for that matter. My perfectionist standards were slowly dropping, the walls coming down and I was learning what it was to relax. Wherever we ended up after this was still debatable. I wasn't in a rush toward a definite decision. I didn't need to be. All that mattered was that I kept myself grounded in the end. Because even though it took some time, everything would fall into place.

It had done so before, and I already knew it would do so again.


End file.
